Almost Christmas...

I've been reading Kiki's blog some more... I don't think I've ever dreaded a christmas more than this one... God I hope nothing happens...

He won't shut up!!! God damn it! I KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE!!! AND MY FRIENDS HAVE CONVINCED ME AND COMFORTED ME IN WHAT I'VE DONE AND THEY'VE LET ME KNOW THAT IT IS MOST DEFINITELY YOUR FAULT!!! AND I AGREE DAMN IT!!!

*sigh* so yeah... still going through that... but... I think It's getting a little better...

I think I saw a proxy today... but I can't be sure... I was in the woods... bad idea... I just... couldn't stay in that house anymore...

SINcerely,

Raz

Before I forget it...

though I don't know how I could...

I had a dream... a nightmare... and it wasn't exactly the same as the others... there was a distinct difference...

Like normal I woke up lying on the leave covered ground, but while looking up I didn't see any trees, though it was still foggy. As I stood up I saw that all of the trees were gone... well... not gone... there were stumps everywhere, but no standing trees left. Standing not too far away from me was... Him... I could feel his gaze on me. I suddenly felt the wind brush against me and knew that time was not still, as in the other dreams. I heard a rustle behind me and made the mistake of looking away from Him. When I looked back he was only about two feet away. I felt a scream well up in my chest and as I let it out I woke up, screaming...

I... I'm terrified... I think he can see me now... It's something I did... Either my research... my trying to support those who are being attacked or harassed... my mentioning that it's a possibility that I'm a Conduit... Maybe it has something to do with me posting that picture of myself... Maybe it's all of them together... I... I'm still going to try my test tomorrow... but... I'm worried...

For reference: I woke up at 1:11 roughly

Tom, sorry that I woke you up with my screaming. I know it must have been startling and a bit unnerving.

SINcerely,

Raz

My dreams...

Hi everyone. I've decided I want to talk about the dreams I've been having lately. At least in a little more detail.


I always wake up, lying face up on the leave carpeted ground. All around me are impossibly tall, thin, dark trees. In the dreams it's never dark there, per se... just...grey. I stand up and look around, seeing absolutely no one around me. In all directions the trees stretch out, disappearing into a grey fog. Solitude is something I've always longed for, but even so, this starts to be unsettling after a while. Then... in the distance I see something. I can barely make out its shape. It's tall and thin like the trees... I know what it is... but I want to deny that it could possibly be there... how could it be... it's just a meme from the internet... right? Even so it stands there, unmoving, as though it, along with the rest of the forest around it, is frozen in time, like a snapshot from a camera. I feel my heart begin to race, my hands becoming clammy. I can barely breath, it's sightless gaze transfixed on me and mine on it.


That's always when I wake up. I usually have a cold sweat and am breathing very heavily. The dreams have been so real recently... it's truly unsettling...


But yeah... if someone sees this could you give me any advice on how to stop a reoccurring dream? Any help is appreciated.


SINcerely,
Raz

So tonight...

I saw Harry Potter. The newest one. It was really good! Though the ending was super depressing. Can't wait until the next one comes out.


I saw it with a good friend of mine, Don. We both agreed that J.K. Rowling can go to hell for killing Dobby.


The scene where they go through the fireplace in the Ministry of Magic and end up in a forest (because of Hermione) kind of creeped me out... Mainly it was how the trees looked... so stark... and tall... and dead... Just kind of reminds me of the dreams I've been having recently.


Well I'm heading back to my college tomorrow. =3 See ya!


SINcerely,
Raz