Looking around...

on the internet that is.


I've been looking at the slender blogs that I frequent and I just read the newest post on A hint of serendipity... Hang in there Zero... you can do it man. Just try to stay calm and keep from making a stupid mistake... The husks will continue to antagonize you, even if you've disabled comments on your posts for right now... They'll find a way... and you have to keep yourself in check, despite what they might do. I know it'll be hard, but I believe in you Zero. (Even if I don't REALLY know you.)


on a sIde not: raMeN is freaking deliciOus. Thankfully i have tonS of it. A FEarfuL and tEntAtiVe good day to the rest of you. i'm probably goING TO leave really early in the morNInG. Hopefully everyThing goes well.


SINcerely,
Raz

Him...

I saw Him.


I was walking back to the dorm after my last class and as I was walking by the construction site (they're building a new business building here) I felt something really weird, like my brain was trying to tell me "Something's wrong!" I looked over and there he was, standing ontop of the building. I knew that I was the focus of his attention right then... it was something that I could just feel. I quickly ran back here, trying to keep from looking around, not really wanting to know if he was following me back to the dorm.


I know what I'm going to do now... I'm packing up tonight and heading out in the morning... I'm not going to wait for something bad to happen... not like most of the others... Besides... he seems to be reacting quicker than I've seen with others... I think it might be that I'm a Conduit... that would make sense I guess... I don't know... I need to get something to eat and think about this more before packing up... Wish me luck...


SINcerely,
Raz

...

I did the test. I told one of my friends, Michael, who is pretty opened minded, about what I think is going on with me and asked him if I could try using my powers on him... well... it worked.


I had him sit down and I sat down infront of him. I looked right into his eyes and imagined a thin needle shooting from my mind into his and then exploding. As soon as I did this he screamed in pain and collapsed on the ground... so... it worked... He's fine now, the pain had been momentary, but excruciating, as he told me. So... it seems like I can mentally attack people...


... yeah... I don't know what to do with this information... I'll probably post later today if I have a plan thought up.


SINcerely,
Raz

About to test...

So wish me luck. I'll be done within the hour... this shouldn't take long.


After my nightmare last night... I am worried that I'll see Him, but so far I haven't seen Him around anywhere. Hopefully I never do...


SINcerely,
Raz

Since I'm not going to sleep...

I thought I'd let everyone just know, almost right up front, some more... interesting things about me.


My mother is bipolar and has active schizophrenia. She's able to keep it under control with her medication, and it does a pretty good job. I, myself, do not have either of those... really. I have what I like to call, but don't know if this is the proper term, audio hallucinations. I sometimes image hearing people talking, or I might hear a sound and, in reality, nothing happened and no one spoke. On top of that I have AD- Oh look a shiny thing! But yeah. I just thought that my readers should know that before it becomes an issue and I have to drop it like a freaking bomb on all of you. (however many of you there are beyond Sabrina I don't know.)


Before anyone tries to suggest that "hey maybe that has something to do with your powers! You know, you can hear people who aren't there, but are somewhere else!" No, it's not that. It really is just audio hallucinations, through and through. The talking is almost always nonsensical, and the noises never make sense for where I am, or in general for that matter. It's just something I've grown accustom to.


In case you're ALSO wondering, yes something did happen in my childhood that contributed to me having audio hallucinations, but, no I don't want to talk about it. It honestly has nothing to do with any of this and I'd rather not think about it.


I just thought that I should let you guys know all of this. So yeah, I'm going to probably stay up for the rest of the night... sleep well everyone, and stay safe!


SINcerely,
Raz

Before I forget it...

though I don't know how I could...

I had a dream... a nightmare... and it wasn't exactly the same as the others... there was a distinct difference...

Like normal I woke up lying on the leave covered ground, but while looking up I didn't see any trees, though it was still foggy. As I stood up I saw that all of the trees were gone... well... not gone... there were stumps everywhere, but no standing trees left. Standing not too far away from me was... Him... I could feel his gaze on me. I suddenly felt the wind brush against me and knew that time was not still, as in the other dreams. I heard a rustle behind me and made the mistake of looking away from Him. When I looked back he was only about two feet away. I felt a scream well up in my chest and as I let it out I woke up, screaming...

I... I'm terrified... I think he can see me now... It's something I did... Either my research... my trying to support those who are being attacked or harassed... my mentioning that it's a possibility that I'm a Conduit... Maybe it has something to do with me posting that picture of myself... Maybe it's all of them together... I... I'm still going to try my test tomorrow... but... I'm worried...

For reference: I woke up at 1:11 roughly

Tom, sorry that I woke you up with my screaming. I know it must have been startling and a bit unnerving.

SINcerely,

Raz

Nervous...

Title says it all... I'm just really nervous about the thing I'm going to be testing tomorrow... Wish me luck... Night all!


SINcerely,
Raz